Researchers say…

‘Researchers say…’ has become such a cliché and overused term that it almost made it seems like the whole term lacks any credibility at all. We have been exposed to the thousand of articles, list of what to do & what not to do, brand new discoveries and elitedaily/buzzfeed nonsense. Often, to sum up their point or just to prove their fact, a simple ‘researchers say’ is added to the start of the sentence which by no means add any factual or credibility to your point at all.

Has it become a term that we have become numbed about?

Perhaps. By no means am I shooting down the researchers’ hard work and their brand new discovery, but rather, questioning the terms of their study. Humans are an evolving species, and we are all drastically different by cultures, nationality, race, upbringing, yada yada. So where is the actuality of a point of your research? A research in Norway, with the study of a demographics basically in Norway does not simply imply it works on a global scale. Even a study on global scale does not imply it works on every single person. There’s subjectivity to every study and we have to question that constantly.

So no, I’m not gonna be sold by your idea just by simply adding a ‘researchers say…’. I need facts, I need credibility, I need sources, I need discussion boards, I need survey results and I need a whole lot more than your ‘researchers say…’. Even then, it doesn’t mean it can entirely convince me to jump on your bandwagon and support your article in the right to lead a better life or become a better person.

So yes, fuck those top ten articles or whatever articles. Especially if they added ‘researchers say…’ without any credibility. Still, fuck those articles.

Outrun

As a kid, I was told to run. Run as fast as I could, even if my legs hurt, just run. On the tracks, no one is your friend anymore, so run. Outrun everyone and everybody if I could. Even if I couldn’t be the fastest, that’s alright. Because I ran, and ran as fast as I could. Because I tried, and all that matters are the people that I have outrunned.

But for a period of time, I stopped running. I stopped trying, and I even gave it up all together. I let people through, I let them run passed me and I even cheered them on. I thought I was free, and happy. I put everyone else before me. But things just doesn’t seem right at all. I need to start running again, for myself.

So I picked myself up once again, and now I’m running. Not catching up, just running as fast as I could. But this time, I would cheer on the people I have outrunned.

I hope it’s not too late.

Personal Evil

So glad to be progressing well at school, and I’ve been real busy working on my current project – Portraits of Evil. I’ve always been fascinated by the villains, the evil people, and the liars, but what we’ve seen before on television or read about in story books doesn’t quite tell the true story of evil. Evil is banal, it lies inside every one of us, that we’re capable of doing evil.

And I wanna explore that, the evil inside every one of us, the ordinary mundane people, discover their personal evil. So I finally did launched a portal for people to confess their evil deeds, where in turn I will illustrate their portrait of evil. It’s nothing amazing, it’s nothing big, but if anyone reading this is interested in the project then check it out here!

Portraits of Evil

On the side note, I am happy. And thankfully with all the support I had that help me push this project forward. I’m especially thankful for that one person who have been my biggest fan, she’s been there right from the start. So thank you… (:

Skin

I think we’re insane, deep down inside us is that crazy ego spurring out of darkness. Society has built us to become this well-mannered, well-behaved citizen, the so called normal sane individual. It gets better being in art school, having a whole bunch of weird people just like yourself hanging out together. But what makes it even better is having someone who you can be totally comfortable with, someone who embraces you even in your own skin, someone who likes the weird part of you. Because I know, I’m nowhere near sane.

Seat

I’m sitting across this wonderful person, sharing the simplest of meals, and I couldn’t stop staring at her. Every single time we sat across one another, this feeling surges and till today, I simply can’t put them into words. It was more than joy, more than having a beautiful companion, more than that connection. So there I sat, across her, looking at her as she gracefully munches on or getting too engrossed in her work. And there I sat, staring at her, in all her beauty. Occasionally, she glances back and catch notice, then she looks away or try to stop me from staring, and she smiles. I couldn’t help but start smiling and laughing away. It seems to come naturally now, smiling sillily.

It is as simple as this, sitting across you.

Stories

Everyday since that day, I get up feeling all magical and excited. As cheesy as that could sound, it does feels good to be trusting someone once again. How I would love to share my daily stories with this particular person, how I always have so much to tell. I feel like a little kid once again, the monkey caged inside me was set free and it has taken control of me.

All in all, this all feels right. The light is larger than the darkness now.

The Moon

And so here it goes, slowly…
A giant leap of faith into something so surreal, it feels scary yet good at the same time. Nobody knows about the future, we can’t be so sure of anything. But that does not stop us from wanting to create our own version of it. So lets make this counts, for better or for worse…at least we’re together now.

Keep Going

It’s never enough, I haven’t done enough neither have I try hard enough too. I feel like I could do more, so much more, but sometimes things just get the better of me. I feel reluctant, I give up and I fall back into my comfort zone. I tell myself a thousand times that things wouldn’t work out, and I ultimately stop trying. I just do enough, bare minimum, and that bothers me.

I want to do so much more, I have to do so much more, I need to do so much more.

I just want to keep going, I have to, I need to…

Full stop

Sometimes, I imagine the impossible. I think about how possible the impossible is, and I fool myself into thinking that it is achievable. That doesn’t happen, most of the time it really don’t. Desires don’t become practicable. But like I to think it that way, that there is all kinds of possibilities if I try hard enough, that someday people might see the light in what I believed. They’ll be calling me foolish and mocking my stubbornness, just because they couldn’t get it.

They didn’t see what I see, or maybe they did but they are too afraid to try.

But today, today it had me at full stop. Where am I going? Where are we going? Maybe now, I began to see what they see. I now know my entity of irrationality, and I’ve come to realise the need to stop. It didn’t kill me though, because somehow I still wish that all these are possible, that all I’ve done will someday mean something. It’s just no longer a selfish thought, as it’s no longer me at the end of the sentence.

Needlessly, gone

Oh, why are you back? They always do, people who have packed their bags and left will always end up coming back. I’m not a place you call home. What do you see now that you didn’t when you left? Now that I’m happy and independent again, you come crawling back and wanting more? I guess we are all selfish to a certain extent, living in the age of narcissism today. It has always been self before others and all these great talks about having individuality equates to the single most selfish personality take on life.

But these people, they wouldn’t stay. They leave when you are in a mess, watch you struggle and drown. I am by no means mad at them, all the more I should be grateful, knowing that I can be independent once again. Thank you for leaving, for that I wouldn’t have known better with you around. But I don’t need you back, at least not right now.

The funny thing is that I work differently than these people, in fact, I am the complete opposite. I would stay when someone’s in a mess, I’ll do whatever I could. not to fix them because I can’t, we all know that we all can’t fix anybody. Maybe I’m psychotic, I have a thing for seeing a frown turned to smile. The accomplishment of that just makes me feels great. Or maybe I just needed to know that my existence meant something to somebody. But the irrational part comes is when I always have the thought to leave when someone is finally happy. I would feel like I’ve done my part and there’s nothing more that I could do. I’m just not known for staying too long.

So that makes me a ditcher too, just in a different way. And I don’t know which is worse. Although, there are some ties that I could never sever, some that I would just sit quietly all along the way, not hoping for anything. Because I’m certain that I already knew what would come out of it, so I wouldn’t ask for more.

I’m not a good person either.